City Girl Gone Country

I have always been a city girl. My early days were spent dressing Barbies, dining with my dolls, and teaching my Beanie Babies arithmatic. I loved riding my bike in the neighborhood, walking to school, and even eating dinner out on the deck every once in a while. But that is about the extent of my childhood outside of the AC or heat provided by four walls.

One summer, I got sent off to girl scout camp with my best friends for a week. The first night there I wept and wept at the thought of a spider creeping into my bed or a mosquito chomping away at my flesh. The tears didnt stop that whole week. Nothing about a week with nature much appealed to me, even as a young girl. My grandma still keeps the notes of desperation I sent her that week--pleas to come and get me. I missed my family of course, but more then anything I missed the comfort of the four walls that seperated me from the great out doors. I missed running water, food without dirt, and a clean-scented bed.

Even after coming home scarred from that experience, I never questioned my hatred of the great outdoors. My mom embraced the world of makeup, fashion, and cleanliness more then I have ever been able to mimic, yet undoubtedly her practices engrained themselves into my little girl heart as well.

I just have to laugh at the fact that God has birthed a dream and vision in my heart which would fully require not only a contentment with, but a confidence and fondness for the great outdoors in the future. I can see the sweetness of newness as a result of His resurection even in this area of my life. All things made new.
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Perhaps it is a season of prepration in more ways then ever could have prayed for, then, or perhaps just ironic that at the age of 21 God would move me to the middle of no-where Arkansas, atop a mountain with winding dirt roads brushed with chickens, cows, goats, horses, country dogs and dirt---dirt everywhere. Oh and bugs. Lots of bugs. Snakes too. Either way, I want to formally intorduce you to this city girl gone country.

I have to say, despite all the things I dislike and fear outside of those four walls, just learning to step out that door I have found unfathomable freedom in His creation. The sights are breathtaking. The air is cleaner. The stars are radiant. The peace and quiet transcends my understanding. The pace is restful. The work is purposeful. The sun peirces the coolness of my ever-wondering soul. The prayers naturally plummet from my lips. Sometimes, the wind swirls around my whole body and I know that He is God. I am falling in love with the country--and with my Savior--in ways that I never imagined possible.

He is so faithful. Faithful to renew my mind in His word. Faithful to meet all of my needs. Faithful to adopt me and call me by a NEW name. Faithful to provide a home in the country. Faithful to provide a God-fearing father and mother, teaching nine little hearts to love Him and fear Him as well. My Father is Faithful.

The Snakes are everywhere, so I learned how to shoot a gun.

Fred the frog

Easter in the Country

He has Risen! He has Risen indeed!!

This Easter I was blessed to have my adopted family host six of my international friends and an American friend for lunch and some time in the country. It was one of the sweetest things to watch this family welcome my friends into their home just like they have so graciously welcomed me.

The girls congregated in the kitchen hosting while the guys settled in the living room in deep conversation. The leader of the home did not hesitate in beginning gospel-centered conversation with the guys from Egypt. It was a moment I will never forget...walking back and forth from the kitchen to the living room drinks in hand, just hearing Him speak Truth over these boys...and of course they loved him instantly. He really has a way with internationals--it's something I really admire.

All eighteen of us gathered around the table to feast and talk. Michelle did an incredible job preparing the food and making everyone feel so welcome. I love her desire to open up her home and welcome anyone and everyone. she has a true gift. At the end of the lunch, I got to offer Easter baskets to my friends, filled with chocolate and some gospel-minded additions too. Then we headed outside for a bit, racing around on four-wheelers and getting a big group picture to remember this day, this day which we celebrate our Risen Savior.

I know God moves in powerful ways and I continue to pray that my international friends will know Him intimately in the month to come before they leave. Regardless of the timing, I am continually seeing the Spirit move in my time with them, and I am trusting Him more and more to do the work, instead of being so dependent upon myself. Sometimes I wish I could just shake them until they "got it"--I wish I could be the Holy Spirit. Then I realize I defiantly don't want that job. So if I can't do it, then all that's left is it remaining faithful to the One who can--and HE REALLY CAN!! Trusting that even if I never see the fruit, perhaps a seed is planted.

I know that Resurrection Sunday was a powerful testimony to a gracious God who loves each of us so much that He gave His Son to die on a cross, but He didn't stay there. He rose again that we might know He is Lord, that we might know the same resurrection from death to new life with Him. I know my friends listened to that message and I pray that they would have ears to hear.

Mummy and daughters

My little sisters :)

Both of my daughters learned how to drive the 4-wheelers!!

Boys vs. Girls



I never get tired of looking at this beauty.



Being goofy.

Kevin and Mike going out for a ride!

The little boys absolutely adored the older boys.

Daughter and I making goofy faces.

So thankful for this family...these friends...and our Risen Savior.

Change Ahead

Change has always been bittersweet for me.

The past several weeks of my life have thrown me into that place of desperate dependency. Sweet with a sting of bitter.

I spent a good amount of time enslaved to a cycle—a never-ending cycle from which I could find no relief. My time was consumed by things that mattered to me far less then the ones that did. Thus, I had a decision to make. Something had to give. Classes. Work. Lightbearers. Fellowship. Serving the Church. International Students. Grades. Future Career. Time with the Lord. Time to do simple things—like blog!!

All of that to say, I had to process through a lot. Talk through a lot. Seek wise counsel. Trust that the Lord knows what I need far better then I do, even when society is screaming in my ear that I am crazy. Even when my own blood decides I am crazy.

I made the decision to withdraw from classes for the semester. To change my major. To complete my degree through College Plus. To look for a new job that is far less demanding with better pay. To do life with a precious family of eleven. To pursue knowledge of running a home, raising babies and helping my husband, Lord willing, over the knowledge found in a classroom.

Crazy, I know. Much of my family thinks I have truly gone off the deep end. It hurts, and yet it is in that place the refinement takes place.

So I run to His word:
"Large crowds were walking along with Jesus, when he turned and said: You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life. You cannot be my disciple unless you carry your own cross and come with me.” Luke 14: 25-27

And yet, this is exactly where the Lord wants me. I have become so very dependent on Him. And I have seen His provision in such tangible ways.

One result of my decision was financial independence for the first time in my life. Finances were not looking so good. That was the reality. Literally, I had ONE DAY to get a job. ONE DAY. If I wanted to fulfill a certain deadline, I needed to create a resume, get it out, get an interview, and get the job in ONE DAY. In my mind, I had already decided I would just take out a loan. There was no way that could all happen in one day. Realistically it was impossible.

But I had forgotten that I serve the God for whom nothing is impossible. A dear friend looked into my eyes and told me I was not going to take a loan. I was going to PRAY. I laughed at her words of encouragement. I even remember thinking…that’s great and I will, but come on…there’s no way. How naïve of me. Oh LORD, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Sure enough, the very next afternoon I got a call, got an interview, and got the job. I began my new job at Everyhing Mary this past Monday. I LOVE it. It was solely the Lord—on both my end and my employers end. What a testimony to HIS faithfulness.

So here I am currently out of school, changing my major (again), working full-time, doing life with 9 little siblings up on a mountain—and I see HIS FAITHFULNESS ALL OVER THIS. Good thing He only reveals one step of the process at a time, or else I could not handle it. This was certainly not my plan and yet, it’s perfect.  

In the midst of the chaos of CHANGE, the continual doubt which still hurls itself at me over the decisions I have made, I heard Him so clearly—it was as though He were sitting right next to me, telling me “Well done, daughter, well done.”

My time is beginning to line up so much more with the things to which God has called me. I am finishing my degree this year to honor my family. I am working a great job with sweet fellowship and great potential. I am learning from a mom of nine everything from home-schooling, to raising boys different from girls, to making laundry detergent, to the reality of adoption, to serving others and on and on. I am still a busy “mummy” to two precious girls who continue to bring so much joy. Life is changing, but He is nothing but faithful.