Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Here I Am, Send Me

My heart aches to go. Perhaps it is the ticking of the clock--over 365 days of seconds lost. Maybe it is the scent of Africa I've been inhailing upon my best friend's return. It could be my dread of returning to school to get a degree I dont care about all to fill the mold America set for me the day I was born on this soil. Maybe it is the scent of fall in the air--a new season, a new start--a breathe of fresh perspective.

It could be the emails that continue to pour in dangling oppurtunities before me, eyes racing across the screen. Maybe it is my exhaustion of trying to be this perfect little American Christian--you know the one. Or maybe it is my frustration with the society I live in where little kids are being paraded around on a leash while children are starving on the other side of the world. Oh land of the free--can you not see the irony?

It could be that the hours I spend lately, dreaming and hoping and praying about serving overseas, are so intertwined with the rest of my hours that it's all I think about until suddenly the faces that appered in my dreams the night before become the little girl walking down the street or the man begging on the corner in the daylight.

Oh Lord, hear my desperate plea. The oppurtunities are overwhelming. The timing is open-ended. The funds are non-existant. The four year plan is history. But here I am--send me.

Isaiah 6
 1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
   “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
   the whole earth is full of his glory.”

 4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
 5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”
 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
   And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

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