Thursday, July 12, 2012

On Taking the Road Less Traveled

Today I got a full ride to college next year.

Too bad I no longer go there.

Last week, I officially enrolled in a homeschool college program, College Plus.

Lat week, I officially left my title as University of Arkansas undergraduate student.

I honestly didn’t even think twice about it—this has been the plan for months now. I know the Lord has brought me to this point and there was no turning back—until today. 

Yes, a full ride to a school I no longer attend. Okay Lord, really? A full ride??

All I can do is laugh...then cry a bit. Lord, sometimes your sense of humor is a bit dry. 

My full ride is to the University of Arkansas, scholarship applications I had submitted back in January, back before everything about my life went in a different direction. Back before the Lord birthed within me a new vision for life—a road less traveled.

Today, I got a glimpse of the road more commonly traveled. The road I would have could have should have been on, if you ask nearly anyone in their rational mind.

Today, I might have even taken a few steps onto it, the road more traveled that is. I even found myself gazing down the path—past the twists and turns, around the bend, and over the mountain. At the end of the path, I could see many things that make sense to this people-pleasing, stay in the box, lover of control, title-driven brain of mine. A degree in hand, honors upon graduation, my whole family on their feet, so proud. A dream job working in a hospital as a dietician. Debt paid off, maybe even a ring on my finger. Babies. Lots and lots of babies. Oh, and happily ever after of course. The American dream.

And truth be told—there is nothing wrong with the end of the road more traveled.

Except—that’s not my end, not my road.

That’s not what God has called me to. That’s not His plan for my life. So, really there is something wrong with desiring the road commonly traveled, there is something wrong with dreaming the American dream.

I imagine this is as hard a post to read as it is to write, particularly for those who know me best but understand the past months of my life the least. I don’t even fully understand the past months of my life.

I've been memorizing the book of James the past two weeks--for the second time this week I am seeing God's grace in supplying His truth to meet my need. From memory, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without reproach. But he should ask in faith with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. This man should not consider he shall receive anything from the Lord, for he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." 

I don't understand what He is working behind the scenes rights now. I cannot see the BIG PICTURE. Oh, I would pay money for a glimpse. But fortunately for us, it just doesn't work that way. If I had known then that I would be here right now, I would have laughed and never seen the here and now to fruition. Praise God He only gives us one step at a time--moreso praise Him that He has every single one of our days numbered {all figured out} before we are even a day old. 

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.       -John 15:19

Even here, in my doubt, I just have to trust THAT God. I have to put my hope in Him. The world is fleeting and failing. He is not. He chose me. He set me apart. I am a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to him. Therefore, I do not belong here on this earth. In fact, His word says I am a sojourner, a traveler on this earth. 

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.
                                                                                    -1 Peter 2:11

So yes, sometime this week I will have to turn down a whole lot of money--free money awarded to me because I am that awesome. My flesh is really gunna hate it. Ouch. Pride always comes before the fall. Fall I must. Good thing God gives grace to the humble, huh?

But god chose the foolish things of the world to shame th wise...{not that a university degree is foolish by any means}. 

As for the road less traveled--check out my new journey which begins July 23rd. I plan to share more in the weeks to come, but yes, I am officially a student once again--reinventing college through completing my degree as a student in College Plus. Who knew a 21 year old senior in college {public schooled every one of those years} could still call herself a homeschooler, even if only for a year. 

Excited {definition: scared to death} to journey down the road less traveled, for I know His plan is perfect—even when it is yet to be revealed. 

To the road less traveled...

If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. 
                                                                                                                                         -1 Peter 4:14

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