I have heard it a million times before—Sin always takes you further then you want to go, keeps you longer then you want to stay and costs you far more then you want to pay. Instant gratification feel so good in the moment. The desires and longings of our flesh are quieted. For a moment, that is. So I guess we should ask ourselves, does such a temporary gratification outweigh the cost of the sin that satisfies us?
I spent so many years of my life consumed in my sin. I lived to satisfy my flesh—instantly of course. Self-control? Patience? Gentleness? Joy? Peace? Yeah right…this was much better. Not for long. I have gotten the privilege of loving Jesus for the past three years of my life, still that same sinner. Now I realize my desperate need for a Savior. I understand the necessity of promoting fruit in my life over sin. I know that instant gratification solves nothing, it only destroys. Despite YEARS of the Lord healing my heart, drawing me closer to himself, teaching me to die to myself (and my very unwieldy flesh), walking in freedom, and graciously accepting His grace and mercies amidst my sin, I still struggle with the consequences of decisions I made YEARS AND YEARS ago.
At this point
in my walk as a believer, I am beginning to face some unexpected consequences of past sin. The consequences of my lack of self-control, my desire to quiet the longings of my flesh by meeting them instantly. Hear it loud and clear—sin does cost you far more then you want to pay. Perspective is key. Oh how I wish I could have seen then the consequences that my decisions would bring forth in so many major and minor aspects of my life. Let’s just say I would have re-thought opening some of those doors to sin.
in my walk as a believer, I am beginning to face some unexpected consequences of past sin. The consequences of my lack of self-control, my desire to quiet the longings of my flesh by meeting them instantly. Hear it loud and clear—sin does cost you far more then you want to pay. Perspective is key. Oh how I wish I could have seen then the consequences that my decisions would bring forth in so many major and minor aspects of my life. Let’s just say I would have re-thought opening some of those doors to sin.
This past week or so I have been trudging my way through one consequence of a choice I made so carelessly so long ago. And of course I didn’t learn from it the first time I made it either; that would be far too simple! I had to make that same stupid decision again and again and again. Grace, grace and more grace. Praise Him that He makes us new—clean and upright in His sight.
Today was the climax of all of my trudging. I felt paralyzed by fear. Overwhelmed with hurt. Crippled by shame. Weighed down with old images flooding my mind. What a sight it was. How I wished I could turn back the clock…take captive the purity of my precious heart and mind. Sin yields death. But there is good news, and ohhh is it good!!! The FREE GIFT of God is eternal life!!!! Apart from Him, I never knew how to live. I hungered for death; I felt dead, hopeless really. But He gave me life. Freely. That I will never fully comprehend. I know that He restores what the enemy has stolen. And today I experienced a beginning of that restoration. It was not easy to persevere through a necessary situation in spite of my mind screaming to just run outa there. But oh what a gift it is to overcome by His blood. And the protection of a sweet big sister in Christ makes it all that much more manageable.
Today, I experienced the consequence of my past sin in such a tangible way. And yet, His love for me remains. In the pit and on the mountain top…He loves me the same. How could I ever consider offering any bit of my affection to anyone or anything other then that God? Oh Lord, paralyze this heart of mine, for this is not my home. No one and nothing satisfies like you.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 6:23
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