Thursday, September 20, 2012

Dear Little Lives That Are Going to Be...

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
                                                                   Psalm 143:8
The Past Year or So...
Dear little life that is yet to be,

Do you have any idea how badly you are desired? How earnestly so many voices are echoing a need to see you face to face? How loved you are even before you are real? How much your momma and daddy want you? The thought of you is so real. So real because we want to meet you so badly.

Little life that is yet to be, do you know that you are loved, that even before your creation, you are loved? Yes, right now. That is a crazy idea to grasp in this finite mind of mine—but somehow I love you and you don’t even exist. I suppose there has to come a point where faith crashes over what makes sense, drowning out the doubts and whys.

While I cannot imagine a perfect will of a sovereign God that does not have your name engrained upon His hands, I still choose to trust that it is indeed His sovereignty in which I must place my hope—whatever that means.

Because I trust Him, I know I can come boldly to His throne and cry out for mercy and grace in this time of need. For your mamma and daddy who want to know you so badly, for the doctors to have wisdom and discernment in helping your mamma have a fertile place for you to come into existence, for the ups and downs of this journey, for the waiting and trusting and hoping and waiting some more.

But really, I just know that whenever the Maker of the Universe, the One who holds the stars in the sky, the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, Jehovah Rapha our healer, Jehovah Niessi our banner, the giver of life—whenever He decides it is time to meet you, little life that is yet to be, then you will simply be. One breath. 

He just needs to breathe into you one breath, to speak and you will be. Wow. I don’t get that. I cannot begin to wrap my brain around that. I just know He is able—beyond able. He is the only one worthy of our cries, our prayers—He hears them.  A broken and contrite heart pleases Him. So we rest and wait and trust and hope. We want you, little life that is yet to be, your mamma and daddy really, really want you.

So, we pray. Until He forms you in your mamma’s womb, in His unfathomable mercy. What a day that will be, what a miracle you will be. What a testimony to the greatness and grace of our sovereign God you will be, in faith, little life that is going to be.

Three Months Ago... {Guess what, little life that is yet to be—you are really going to be!!}

A Month (and a half) Ago... {Guess what, little [LIVES] that are going to be—there are THREE OF YOU!!!}

A Couple Weeks Ago...{One little life is sitting in Heaven with Jesus—and two of you have hearts still beating strong and so many who can't wait to meet you while you spend some time here on earth.} 

At the end of it all, He the author and perfector. He gives life and He takes it away. He is LORD. What an unfathomable blessing that He has chosen to give three lives at once, and that two of them we will get to meet soon. While the reality of a whole new life to come begins to settle in, there is no doubt in my mind what an incredible Daddy and Mamma you two are gunna make. I have seen time and time again in my life the way you have loved me as your own...taught me through doing life together, challenged me, counseled me, prayed for me, lavished grace upon me, laughed and cried with me—and continue to do so. Though, I guess a few things might sharing my room when I come visit and not sleeping quite as soundly :) 

Truth be told, I am pretty jealous of these lil lives growing inside of Mamma as I type these words. Mostly because they get to grow up calling you two mom and dad for their whole lives. Day in and day out they get to watch the way their mamma trusts daddy and the way daddy protects mamma, the way they love each other so good, even in the mess. I can not imagine the legacy these little beans growing in your belly are going to leave. The way they are going to labor and wrestle to further the Kingdom and ultimately to know the King. At the end of it all, I guess this is it—what comes from the next generation. And the next and the one after that. It matters.

This is just the begining. New life brought forth out of your lives together, ultimately a testimony of God's faithfulness in all five of your lives. The thought of surrendering these babies to Him is something to be grasped—yet what peace there is in knowing that He is in control and His plan is perfect, even as we learn to count the trials joy. So exited to watch you two in your new roles as mamma and daddy...could not be anymore blessed kiddos then these two you get to raise!! 

Yes Mr. Luster, 'that is a lot of years to mess em' up' praise the Lord for unfathomable grace and mercies anew every morning!! 

Let's continue to intercede on behalf of the Lusters and the two being knit together inside, and the hearts of this mamma and daddy as they grieve the loss of a baby as well. 

Thankful today for these two lil heartbeats, a mamma and daddy who love Jesus above all else, and hope in Christ even in the hurt of life and the sting of death. 

As soon as she starts feeling like a functioning human again, I am sure you can find lots of updates over here from The Mamma!!! 

1 comment:

  1. I love this Courtney! Your write so well. What a sweet sweet blessing this is!!! And of course this is SO exciting as well:)!